I don’t know how to start this other than to tell you that I miss you already. I never understood your nearly 6 year case of separation anxiety but now I get it. Papa and I are kind of going crazy. You’ve been gone for 1 day.
I took him on our walk today. No offense to him but it always seemed a little happier when I walked with you…and there was always more conversation. The wind was a bit chilly and it was overcast but I could smell the scents of Autumn through my stuffy nose and I know you would have enjoyed pulling me across the streets to the next set of shrubs to investigate.
The only thing we’ve emptied are your food and water bowls. I took them out of the living room pretty quickly yesterday. They were 20x they’re normal size and didn’t belong in here. They are, however, still sitting in the sink since neither Papa or I can wash them just yet. I know we will eventually.
We haven’t moved anything else. Of yours at least. I went a little nuts this morning and had to clean the living room. You know how I clean when I’m upset. I didn’t vacuum, though, and your bed and toys are still in here.
The vet told us our options yesterday after they let us see you. The thought of what to do hadn’t even crossed our minds before then. I wanted so desperately for her to say, “…or you can press this button and have this weekend back. Get him here sooner.” But I don’t know if that would have done any good, anyway. How old were you really?
It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you know we loved you as best as we knew how and as much as we could.
We buried you in the backyard. It’s not your favorite sunny spot – that’s a little too close to the house and we wanted to make sure you were somewhere you would be least disturbed. I hope you understand. You’re in the back corner of the yard so you can look out to see who is coming. You loved that spot, too. It will get plenty of sun once we take down the tree next to you. We want you to have more sunshine. We’re glad that you’re always home with us.
We also wrapped you in your favorite blanket. The one that Grandma B made for you several Christmases ago. It meant a lot to her when we told her that. You really were loved by everyone (well, maybe not the old man with the Pit Bull but I don’t think he likes anyone).
Papa took today off of work. We’re trying to be normal but nothing seems like it can be. We’re thinking about donating your things to a shelter. Maybe another dog like you could use a “new” bed.
I’m sorry you’re gone. I hope that’s not selfish. I’m glad I was able to hold you when you passed. I’m sorry it was in a car and not at home. We really didn’t think that was what was happening when you woke us up yesterday. I’m sorry.
We miss you lots and love you so much more,
PS Quinn misses you, too.